I need adventure

As a kid I read and read. It was the opportunity to escape the every day and for something exciting to happen. Now that I'm an adult, I still read, but it's not quite enough. I need adventure. Even adventure as small as a trip to Richmond or DC every once in a while or an outing with friends to the wineries or tubing down the river is enough, but I need something out of the ordinary that breaks up the routine. Fortunately, I am going to Texas in May with my family and to Italy with a good friend in June. Hopefully, those trips will help quench this persistent need for more. Staying home every weekend isn't doing it for me, especially now that the weather is getting nice. Not only do I want adventure, I want to share it with the people I'm closest to and who mean the most to me. If they're not present than there is something missing. Telling them about it isn't enough; I want to share the experiences. Sigh. I'm feeling antsy.

God's kingdom

The sermon this week was really great and really spoke to me. Pastor Steve is going through the Lord's prayer and this week's section was "Your kingdom come."  He described God's kingdom as God's reign rather than an actual place and he proceeded to share scripture on some of Jesus' insights on God's kingdom. For some reason, I thought to look at the verses from the point of view of those hearing them for the first time 2000 years ago. Jesus' view of God and God's kingdom was so radically different from the common view.  He described the kingdom as being in us and near to us to a people who were waiting for it. Imagine what things would be like if God truly reigned (heaven). God the Just; God who is Good. I began to think about all the good stuff in life and how none of that would be here if God weren't. If we allow God to reign in our lives his kingdom is already here and our job is to share that good news with others - particularly those who aren't seen as successful by the world's standards. And then we are to live for the time when God will reign supreme (heaven).  Most of the time I feel like I don't really understand Jesus' message of "good news."  All I ever understood it to be was we aren't doomed and separated from God by our sins because Christ died for us and redeemed us (which is part of it). But Jesus was spreading good news before his death and resurrection, and that good news is the radical idea about God's kingdom.  So maybe I am starting to get it??

Friends of the Library Book Sale

I was able to go to the library book sale on Sat. It is one of my favorite things of the year. I got 11 books for $13.50. I got The Chronicles of Narnia, The Kite Runner, Reading Lolita in Tehran, The Namesake, The Pillars of the Earth, The Reader, The New York Trilogy, The House on Mango Street, SlaughterHouse-Five, The Joy Luck Club, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I can't wait to buckle down and read them! All are books I've heard of or that have been on my wish list for quite a while. I love good finds and cheap books! :)

Mindset

The latest read is a book called "Mindset." It describes two ways of viewing things: a fixed mindset and growth mindset. The fixed mindset says that all abilities, intelligence, etc. are fixed quantities and that a person with a fixed mindset will act in such a way as to show their superiority but will not stretch themselves for fear of appearing incompetent. The growth mindset says that ability and intelligence are not fixed quantities but are things that can be improved over time. They see challenges as a way to improve themselves and seek them out. The ideal is obviously to have the growth mindset. I know from experience that I have a fixed mindset. Ex: I won't play board games b/c I don't want to look stupid.  I am taking on a leadership role at work that scares me. I am not a natural-born leader. I am hoping that through the experience and through reading the book I will learn to grow and not be afraid of looking dumb. I am hoping to be able to motivate my team members to make a difference in the PICU. I don't want the committee I lead to be a project that I alone am tackling, but I want everyone to be actively involved and to want to do their part and do it well. We'll see how it goes!

Japan

I feel a little morbid. I can't stop watching the videos of the tsunami and looking at pictures of the destruction. It just seems so surreal to me and like something out of a movie. I just found out today that the tsunami hit about 30 minutes after the earthquake. That didn't give residents much time to get to higher ground. I can't imagine how frightening the whole experience would have been and what a horrible way to die. One of the videos showed people running from the wave and it seems like some didn't make it. Other videos show people watching their homes being washed away. The power of the water moving buildings and cars effortlessly just blows my mind. The after images showing buses, cars, and ships on top of 3 story buildings are just incredible. I also think that one of the scariest things about earthquakes is that there are aftershocks. After experiencing a huge, devastating earthquake I think that the aftershocks would invoke an automatic panic response.  I found out too that they had a 7.2 earthquake in the same place 2 days before. The fact that a earthquake that big didn't make the news also blows my mind. That's not a small thing! One encouraging video I saw showed the people who have been displaced really helping each other to get water and find loved ones.  From what I remember, Japan is a more collective society (vs. individualistic like the US) and I admire that that moves them to work for the greater good in these circumstances rather than just looking out for themselves.  I feel helpless and don't know what I might do other than pray for the people who have lost everything. One woman interviewed said that she didn't know if it was good she had survived. She lost everything and it will take a long time to rebuild.  I pray for hope for those people.  It is all so terribly sad.

Drive

I am reading the book Drive by Dan Pink (along with a bunch of other books since I can't seem to sit down with just one for too long). I find it very fascinating and I am looking forward to seeing if there is some practical tips I can use to improve things in my own work place. The premise is that intrinsic motivation is in many ways squelched by external rewards/punishments which is the traditional way for motivating people/employees. I think about our attempt at work to reduce central line infections and how not everyone is on board with doing the things a collaborative group of hospitals has said will help to reduce infection. Based on this book, the things we have tried (parties for increasing numbers of days without infection, etc) worked as expected. The reward system works in the short term (and it did for us), but people's long term motivation to see it through wanes (and our data says that we are taking steps backwards). So I think that the best way to approach it is just to say "we are doing this because it will create the best outcomes for our patients" and make that the focus. Irregular, unexpected rewards acknowledging a job well done are allowed, but if they become consistent, the reward becomes expected and the same problems result. Per the book, intrinsic motivation can be developed and is found in work that has autonomy, requires/allows the person to obtain mastery, and gives the person a sense of purpose. I am just now in the chapter on autonomy so I'll have to let you know how the rest of the book goes and what I think.  So far it is an interesting book based on psychological approaches and studies I find fascinating. After reading books like this and Freakonomics and it's sequel I sometimes think I should have been a behavioral economist or something (I didn't know that economics was the study of the way people behave). I find it so interesting (but I'm not sure I'm creative enough to think like they do).  I took an assessment from the book's website that says I am more extrinsically motivated than intrinsically. Guess I will have to work on that to be able to really make something of my life and be fulfilled.

God is Good

Our pastor challenged us today via email to list ways in which God is good to us (especially if we're going through a low time).

God has blessed me with an amazing family. I was raised in a Christian home with parents that really live out their belief in God. They are even fun to be around (you can just ask the guy I'm dating).

Even though she drives me crazy sometimes, my roommate is a blessing. She's always there to talk about things (sometimes too much talking though). She is a great ministry partner (teaching 6th grade together and serving in other youth events) and a good friend.

God has given me a man of character just as I asked Him. If only this man were also a follower of Christ I would marry him tomorrow if he asked. :-P

God has blessed me with a stable job where I can make a difference. It allows me to make enough money to pay my bills, travel the world and to share with others.

So, despite the fact that I am not where I might have dreamed I would be at 28, I am in a good place. :)