lazy summer day with lots on my mind

It is so rare for me to have time at home by myself. I almost don't know what to do! But I'm very protective of this time and worked hard not to make other plans. There are lots of things on the "should do" list that I just haven't been motivated enough to start yet.

I have picked up reading again. I am trying to figure out if marriage to the man I'm dating and sometime soon really makes sense so I am reading lots of books that ask the important questions. There's "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged" and "Sacred Marriage" and "Love and Respect". I'm excited about all of them and trying to read them all at once. I'm also wanting to write and journal more and since Italy I've wanted to try something artistic (painting? photography?), but haven't gotten around to it yet. I guess my creative side is coming out.

At work we had a retreat to deal with some of the issues in the unit. The primary issue that was identified and that I think is relevant is lack of follow-through. I would like to take on more of a leadership role at work but I need mentors and guidance.  Leadership is not something that comes naturally to me but something that I'll have to develop.  I don't have tons of ideas or the creativity to develop new ways of doing things, but I'd like to get smarter and feel like a really good resource in the unit. Unfortunately, I don't think much else was accomplished in the retreat. The facilitator seemed to think so, but she had data collected from all 3 days. We were the last day so I wonder if she didn't push us as hard....

I've been taking a statistics class at PVCC (online) which has taken up a ridiculous amount of my time. I need to take the 2nd test on Monday (early) and hopefully it'll go well. Test taking always makes me nervous. I just hope I'm prepared and don't forget something. Before the test, I need to start on the next set of material so that I can get it done in the next week (it's a lot this week), so I'm hoping not to forget the old stuff while absorbing the new. 

The class is potentially in preparation for NP school. I was convinced I should do it until I got wait-listed. Now I'm not sure if it's a closed door or a sign I need to try harder. The thing is, I want to be a great applicant, so if I do apply again, I want to make sure I'm ready. I'm thinking about trying to volunteer at the free clinic to get a better picture of primary care and primary care including adults and families. I just need to figure out how to fit it all into the schedule.